Beginning this year, a prayer born from my heart was “Jesus, I love you, You know I do, and what I desire most is that the best days of our walk may be ahead not behind me.” Sometimes I found myself reminiscing about the days behind me, saying things like, “I used to be so passionate”, “I used to give more”, “I used to be fearless about my faith.” etc. With no doubt within me, I love Jesus but I caught myself falling into the routine of loving God, I became comfortable in my lifestyle of loving Him. I realized this stagnancy in my spirit and heart and felt shame because of it. How is it that I can love God but fall into a routine? If you’re anything like me, I love routines, I love order, I don’t get bored of eating the same food, I don’t bored of wearing the same colored clothes; it’s difficult for me to change in my day to day routine.
Some of us may struggle with this. We can get easily overtaken by the routine and sway to the point that we lose passion, we lose faith, we lose joy, we lose vision and are just being swept up in the rhythm of life. I honestly confess I lost passion. I lost vision. I lost motivation, I felt being tossed by the things of life, by the to-dos. Yet despite my lack of focused love, passion and vision, my love for the Lord was still real to Him. The first weeks of the year, during our church’s Week of Sanctification where we seek the Lord together as a community at the beginning of the year, with tears in my eyes, shame covering my head, and heaviness weighing down my heart, I cried to the Lord for grace in my weakness. I know this is my weakness but I don’t want to stay there. I need the Lord to love Him well, with passion, life, and vitality. As I prayed that simple prayer, I felt the Lord breaking off all shame as He affirmed my weak love. I felt Him saying, “Ellie, I know your humanity, I know how I created you, I know how you process life and it’s only in My grace that you can see who I am saying you are. Come and see higher. Lift your eyes!”
I believe there is an invitation from the Lord for us, just as He gave me, to see higher than our routines, our circumstances, our offenses, our distractions, our weaknesses, whatever it may be, to see what He sees. What does the Lord see? A couple of weeks ago Benjamin Núñez shared on Zechariah 3 and 4 to the congregation, speaking about Joshua’s identity before the Lord being restored and the grace of the Lord before the mountains of obstacles that hinder. I took that word for myself, to shout “Grace, grace!” before the mountains of obstacles, of weakness, and distractions. Proclaiming the grace of the Lord as I make focused, intentional decisions in my life to break routine in my life, to allow the Lord to take me outside of my comfort, to love the Lord with my whole heart again, and pursue Him like never before, knowing that our best days together are ahead. Your best days are yet ahead of you! I speak “Grace, Grace” over you today!